The Rules in Review

I’m back! Sorry, was hoping I’d be able to write a bit whilst away but I had my parents over from the States and have spent the past 8 days shepherding them around England and drinking heavily on my own in hotel rooms.

So, first things first. It’s the end of Rules tyranny! A review is in order.

To me, following The Rules was somewhat akin to following the Atkins diet: the results are undeniable but the side effects unpleasant and it certainly isn’t sustainable.

Here’s a breakdown of the Success vs. Failure rate:

Latin Banker:

A failure, to be sure. He clearly thought I was a money-grubbing bitch because of dinner and the taxi and as I wasn’t able to contact him the next day to say thank you, the opinion remained.

Kiwi:

Success to a point. Ah, sweet little Kiwi. He was lovely and certainly receptive to The Rules Me (and Actual Me, considering our drunken fiasco of a first date) but he just wasn’t up my alley (so to speak). In truth, in this case The Rules saved me from my overly-honed guilt complex – if left to my own devices, I would have contacted him after the disastrous second date to alleviate my conscience about not fancying him which would have inevitably led to an extremely awkward third date on which I would have had to have sacked him off or (worse) had terrible awkward pity sex.

The Actor:

Negated: I don’t think he even knew I was there.

The Triathlete:

The only remaining Rules survivor. The Rules worked like a charm on him and it’s pretty clear why – he’s totally the Alpha-male type. We’ll see how we fare with the next book…

So, what have I learned?

Hmm.

Well, for starters, I’ve learned that I am EXTREMELY bad at following The Rules. It’s become clear to me that I’m incredibly impatient when it comes to men. I’m always trying to force things to a head – pleasant or otherwise – because I don’t like not knowing how things will turn out. As a result, I don’t allow things to develop naturally. It’s like I’m playing one game of chicken after the next, daring each man to put all his cards on the table and then feeling perplexed when they plow over the cliff like lemmings.

So, in a way, it’s been good for me to be forced to be reserved. By leaving the ball firmly in the other person’s court, I’ve avoided a couple of entanglements I wasn’t particularly interested in and allowed one that I might actually enjoy to play out in its own time. I’ve realized that I’m often so caught up in the drama of a new affair that I don’t stop to think if it’s something I actually want to get involved in.

It’s been strangely refreshing to let the guy make all the effort and I’ve realized that (much to my annoyance) they do usually prefer it that way. Let’s be honest: sometimes it’s nice to have a man make a bit of a fuss over you.

The Rules in conclusion:

Works best on:

Alpha Males who are used to getting what they want and who love a challenge. They tend to be happy to make a big song and dance and splash some cash in order to get what they want, especially if it’s particularly hard to get. They’re the ultimate capitalists.

To be used by:

Women who don’t need instant gratification and who are looking for commitment from a man. And it’s probably preferably if they’re teetotal as following The Rules when drunk is nigh-on impossible. 

So, onwards and upwards to August’s book: The Technique of the Love Affair.

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