The bad behavior continues.

One would imagine that after last Saturday’s debacle, I would have learned my lesson and started behaving myself.

But no.

Before I launch into this, I must slip in one caveat. The guy I went out with on Wednesday and about whom this tale centers around knows about this little project of mine. He’s a former coworker and apparently one of his colleagues sent him the blog asking if he wanted to go on a date with me. I wasn’t entirely aware that the blog was now doubling as a dating service, but no matter; he emailed me asking if I wanted to go for a drink and I said yes.

I’ve been trying to decide whether or not to write about him for the past few days (the fact he may read this making it all a bit weird and meta) but then I realized that, unsurprisingly, I’m the one who comes out of this looking deranged. Besides, when he asked me out he told me he was happy for me to write about the experience, so I guess it’s fair game.

Anyway, I found the fact that this particular former coworker of mine asked me out amusing because, during the year and a halfthat I worked with him, he could not for the life of him remember who I was. It became a running joke between me and my work friends. At one point, he thought I worked in the post room and phoned me up asking my how to send a package to America (I did not work anywhere near the post room). So needless to say, I didn’t have high hopes for the evening. In fact, I was mainly just curious to see if he would recognize me.

We met in what I can only describe as an Old Man’s Pub. He was wearing a trench coat and reading a serious-looking book with a serious-looking expression on his face. He had a beard that he didn’t have when I worked with him and was cuter than I’d remembered. Happy days.

The whole evening started out very civilized and above-board (as so many evenings do with me before devolving into utter chaos). We talked about books and writing and, a bit awkwardly, about the blog and dating. It was slightly surreal to discuss my dating habits and inclinations with someone I was on a first date with but there was also something refreshingly honest about it all.

At one point, he announced that he was never the one to end a date, even if he was having a terrible time. I couldn’t figure out if this was a hint that he was having a terrible time and was desperate for me to end the evening or if it was some sort of challenge. Ever the optimist, I took it as a challenge

“In that case, you have to be the one to end the date tonight,” I said. “I won’t get offended if you say you’re having a terrible time. But you have to pull the plug.”

He responded to this by getting us shots of sambuca and another round of pints.

The gauntlet had clearly been thrown down.

After we closed the pub, he asked where we should go next.

“It’s your show,” I said. “Lead on.”

We ended up in a members’ bar under an assumed name. I was growing increasingly impressed with him.

And yes, the Geordie did pop into my head. I couldn’t figure out if I should feel guilty about the fact that I now kind of wanted to make out with this former co-worker of mine when the Geordie and I had, just the night before, declared our mutual liking of one another. But I was having a lot of fun and it’s not like any sort of commitment has been agreed between Geordie and I; I’m still a free agent.

“God, I am a morality-free zone,” I thought.

In the end, I decided that it was best to stick to the grey areas for as long as possible. That’s when I suggested we went back to my place. In the cab, I announced that I was probably going to be someone’s girlfriend soon and that this might be a one-time thing. Unsurprisingly, former coworker seemed fine with this arrangement.

What happened next is almost so cripplingly embarrassing for me to recount that I’m actually having trouble typing this.

We got to my flat, made out for a grand total of 6 minutes (at the most) before I was struck with a wave of intense guilt and self loathing and promptly shooed him out of my flat. I’m serious: I’m pretty sure I actually made the shooing motion with my hands. I then proceeded to text the Geordie (at 1:22am on a Wednesday, so I was clearly at the pinnacle of my critical thinking powers) to say this:

“I’ve made a big decision. Call me when you get this.”

The big decision was that I was going to stop dating other people. At the time it seemed like a sensible and somewhat romantic decision, seeing as how apparently all I do nowadays when I go on dates with other people is behave atrociously and then drunkenly text the Geordie.

But when morning came and he asked what the big decision was, I couldn’t quite face it.

“I’ve decided I’m never drinking sambuca again,” I replied.

Do I like the Geordie? Obviously. But I don’t think I’m ready to start liking him to the point of the exclusion of others. As has become glaringly obvious over the past month, the more I feel myself getting sucked into something, the more I try to struggle my way out of it. So, for now, I’m going to give myself a break and continue to date other people. I think I’ll just drink a bit less and leave my phone at home.

As for former coworker… well, I guess it’s up to him, although the decision might be made for him when he sees October’s book.

Let’s face it: as much fun as it’s been running amok this month, I’m in need of some serious structure.

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  • Michelle says:

    I want so badly to root for you and the Gerodie but would that be the end of the blog? Oh mixed emotions! Anxiously awaiting the next book. October should be exciting.

  • Kate says:

    Me too & I’ve only just found the blog!
    I would like to point out that the ex co worker did not end the date – something he needs to work on. Looking forward to October’s book.

    • Love by the Book says:

      That is an EXCELLENT point and one I hadn’t realized – I can’t believe I was eventually the one to end it after all that!
      No, will not be the end of the blog. If it’s not apparent by now that I am rubbish with men and will almost immediately ruin things with the Geordie, I’m sure it will become clear very soon…

  • Rowan says:

    Yes – as Michelle said: mixed emotions. I feel so conflicted! On the one hand very much tickled by the new title this month and on the other rather feeling for the Geordie – who seems to have arrived just in time to experience the month where the claws are encouraged to come out… I’ll be reading between my fingers with my hands over my eyes.

  • Skorpion says:

    Online dating seems odd, but in all hetnsoy it was bound to come with technology. There are those who are simply NOT an extrovert. There are ups and downs to it of course. The downside is the anonymity you can pretty much be lied to in every way. The up of it is: that if you truely fall for someone online (and assuming they are being to their personality) its an affair of the heart. Not just the putting on a show to get someone in the sack that night.Best wishes.

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