So, you may have noticed my conspicuous absence. No, I have not been involved in a freak combiner accident or been arrested for public exposure. Nor have I contracted legionnaire’s disease or moved to a remote island in the Philippines.
No, my friends, it something far more disturbing than any of the above: I’ve fallen in love. Yep! With the Geordie.
What’s more, I managed to meet him whilst following a book that allowed me do whatever I want, ie sleep with him on the first date, get excessively drunk, curse like a sailor and behave in my usual erratic, slightly alarming manner.
Ahem. IN YOUR FACE, RULES.
It will certainly make for entertaining dinner party conversation when someone inevitably asks how we met.
“Well,” I’ll say whilst gazing adoringly into Geordie’s eyes, “We met through an online dating site.”
“Oh. How very modern of you.” They’ll say, trying not to look disappointed.
“Yes, and what’s more, I was only on the aforementioned site because I was conducting a social experiment and needed test subjects! He was the human equivalent of Pavlov’s dog!”
“That’s right!” Geordie will pipe up. “I was only meant to be a sounding board for socially-constructed behavioral norms! But I am SO AWESOME that she fell in love with me and put a stop to her commercially-viable blog project!”
(I guarantee you that this is exactly what he would say).
So, this is it. Game over. As much as I’ve loved the project, I can’t justify possibly fucking up something amazing so I can see what happens when I follow the advice of a former pimp (though I am admittedly gutted that I never got to try out Big Boom’s admirably named book, If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start with Your Legs).
I’ve got to say, doing this little experiment has been one of the best experiences of my life (and not just because I happened to fall in love at the end of it). It forced me to meet a whole bunch of people I’d never have otherwise met and do a whole bunch of things I’d otherwise never have done. But more than anything, it reminded me that this whole dating thing is meant to be one of the fun bits of life and that it works best if you just shrug your shoulders, say yes and hope you at least get a good story out of it.
And while I’m CERTAINLY not smug enough to end this on a whole Cosmo “just be yourself!” note (mainly because I am well aware of just how lucky I am to have stumbled across the Geordie and all too aware of how quickly it could come tumbling down like a house of cards), I think there is something to be said for the lightning-bolt thing. You can call him or not call him, you can sleep with him or not sleep with him, you can be a total bitch or be a 1950s housewife, but at the end of the day, it’s pretty much just comes down to whether or not you dig each other. And no amount of game playing can force that.
So thanks for coming along for the ride and for all your supportive and hilarious comments. Good luck playing at home and you never know, Geordie might come to his senses in a couple of months and then I’ll be right back here with a whole new set of rules to follow.